Knock Knock..

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"
- John Lennon
(10/25/09)

Spooooky..

When was the last time you visited a graveyard or a cemetery? ..What are the chances that while in cemetery your car won't start back again.. wooooooh ..wait..wait.. when your car is down, keys are not connected.. and suddenly...whole electrical system goes wacky, All the RPM, Speedometer indicators were running haywire in a wild rush !! ... woooooohhh.. Spooky :) !!

Was in "San Diego Darshan" mode with my cousin sister Deepti. While driving back from Pt Loma, I thought abt visiting Rosecrans cemetery nearby. One of the greatest amateur astronomers, Robert Burnham Jr, is buried there. I wanted to visit him (?) for a long time, but never got a chance. ..that was the moment and I pulled over. We went thru grave locater to find out the exact location of the grave, out of thousands of graves lying around.. Finally we found it and decided to drive there.. Got into the car..and thats it..

Car wasn't starting.. Tried turning the keys once, twice, thrice.. Nope.. it wasn't !!. I took out the keys..and suddenly all dials, indicators started moving from one end to another end.. WOW !! Deepti and I were frozen on our seats... lil scared ..of ghosts ..esp of "Ms Carina Lee", whose grave was just next to our car :) !! ... The old classic DD TV Show "Kile Ka Rahasya" music was playing in my head :) !!

After 30-45mins panic mode, a nice gentleman helped us to jump-start the car. Again after 15 mins, while i was in the middle of the intersection of Harbor and Lauren, Car died again.. All dials were moving randomly again and this time car was making weird noise too, as if breathing for life !! Being on the airport road, bunch of cars honking, yelling at me ..I was in the middle of the intersection, just helpless, on the phone, for more than 15-20mins.

Luckily a towing services guy showed up in next lane. ..Iranian guy, who decided to help me only when I told him Indians and Iranian people do have connections.. :) Couple of dollar bills jump started the car again..

Local mechanic replaced the battery and my car is alive now.. So much of spookiness because of a car battery..

Seems like, Robert Burnham Jr, indeed wanted me to spend some time with him in that cemetery. Sorry Sir..I didn't get a chance to say hello at that time.. will definitely visit soon.. but this time I will park outside the cemetery.. just as a precaution :) !!

Saiyan Mhora..

Yesterday, while driving home from work, happened to play Rashid Khan Raga Puriya Dhanashri.. unexpectedly, the drut bandish words indeed filled the blanks.. :)

Saiyan Mhora Pardes Gayal Wa..
Kin Sotan Bin Mahe Rahu, Sudh Bisarayi..

Saiyan Mhora Pardes Gayal Wa..

Jab Se Piya Pardes Sidhare..
Sudh Huna Milee Aaban Ki, Jab Se Piyaan Nahi Aaye Hamaroo..

Saiyan Mhora Pardes Gayal Wa..

Listen here. Switch to last few minutes of the song for drut bandish..

These words woven in Puriya Dhanashri raga go way too deep :( !!

Recession..

> Knock Knock...
< ..Who's there ?
> "Recession"..
< Recession... I don't care...
> Hmmm... "You are Fired" !!
< ????????

Dream..

Its indeed depressing to watch whats happening in Mumbai today.. alas..In India since last 8 months.. ..failure of everything.. from administration.. to humanity..its painful..indeed !!

but still...

"Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream."

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

"I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."

"This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

- "I have a Dream" ..Martin Luther King Jr. August 28th 1963

The Red Pill..

...I wish it would have been as simple as taking a "red pill"..

The quest for matrix is hard.. Forget the realization.. Its hard to focus on it while "experiencing" it... there are so many "interesting" things within it, that an "abstract thought" of the "illusion" is really agonizing & piercing.. But.. the "red pill" is "probably" the right way, like warmhole in cosmos.. who knows... and quest for it, itself destroys all "practicality"... seems like, loosing both ends..

..Where the hell are you Morpheus??

Into the wild

Into the wild.. The movie..story of Chris McCandeless indeed appeals to me.. not literally, but philosophically.. A wild landscape without traces of civilization are spiritually necessary, but Happiness is only real when shared.. so there should be balance of both isolation and society/relationships in human life..

I want to experience this "wilderness" by myself.. philosophically.. but I guess I am too weak to start my search.. Someday I will !!

Eddie Vedder's music & words precisely reflects this philosophy in the soundtrack..
"Don't come closer or I'll have to go
Holding me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you..."

Checkout the complete lyrics..

Also checkout the soundtrack.. Guitar piece is simply too good to touch your heart.. It won the Grammy !!

NY times review and "Chris's" character analysis is indeed thought provoking..

Rounders..

These days, I am really hooked to the game of poker.

Around six months back, Shaan gave us first glimpse of poker.. Obviously at that time, we didn't know anything abt it.. and we kept on loosing... but more you play or more you loose, then more you grasp the game.. and now.. we are not doing bad...

Qualcomm had a poker tournament last week, and all of us played there.. Around 200 people signed up.. and guess what... I survived in top 40 people. :) .. thats not bad considering only my 6 months poker experience.. Infact my buddies Dilip and Sarath were in top 10 players... that was simply unbelievable... I am sure, if Shaan would have been there, he would have been a champion :) !!

In AZ, I used to browse thru some poker games on TV, but I always felt that who the hell watches these things? what's so interesting in it? Or whoever watches these games, probably they don't have nothing better to do... but guess what.. my perspective is totally changed now.. Its not only the cards or money you are looking for, but its the psychology, with which these poker geniuses play, is worth to watch...

Poker is indeed one of the best psychological games of life.. probably like Chess...but in Chess, Strategy outplays the Psychological aspect.. In poker, I think, playing cards is just a backdrop.. Its the mentality of your opponent you are indeed dealing with... If you can judge your opponent.. Bingo.. you have earned yourself a "Big Pot"... But if you have mixed your emotions, grudges, vengeance in your play... then..Oh Boy.. you are in trouble.. Poker "Tilt" always "sucks" you in the game towards devastation... and I have experienced it closely...

If you haven't played poker yet, then you are indeed missing something in life... At-least start with Rounders and get inspired :) !!

Sometimes I feel that, God (??) is playing poker against us... against all of us... He not only knows his own cards, but he knows my cards also... so obviously he can not loose in the game.. He is already aware abt the outcome of the game, but its me who is fighting for my own survival.. and keep on trying to make a good judgment to find out the outcome of this play....

Somewhere I read abt an essay, where Author successfully compares the teachings of Aristotle with Poker.. "The correct approach, whether it's to poker or life, is to focus on making correct decisions rather than on favorable outcomes that may be dependent on other factors"

Indeed...... These days God (??) is playing heads-up with me... trying to put me in "Tilt", but.... any way.. Let's not get into details :) !!

Here is the video of last few rounds of championship in Qualcomm tourney.. Audio is intentionally disabled.. You can see me and Dilip standing behind the dealer.

Smokin' SD - WildFires..

Wildfire is not that unfamiliar term to San Diego, but I never realized that I will experience it so closely this time.

(Photo Credit: KPBS-Flickr)

On Sunday, because of high winds and dry weather, almost 10 fires started in San Diego county. The Witch Creek fire in Ramona, which started with just 100 acres on Sunday morning, spread across 13,000 acres till Sunday evening. While on Monday morning it burnt up to 140, 000 acres of land across northeast of SD. The speed at which it was spreading and moving towards SD city, was indeed scary. The winds were blowing at 60mph and humidity numbers were in single digit. The temperatures all over county were soaring to 90-100 deg fahrenheit, making weather conditions similar to AZ.

On Moday morning, when I woke up from a phone call from Qualcomm automated notification system, to report my "home" status.. I realized the urgency of the situation. My place in MiraMesa was surely safe, but mother nature was already showing its rage in Rancho Bernardo, around 20-25 miles fro my place, burning all houses and apartment complexes. Area of Poway (15 miles from my place) was already under mandatory evacuation.

(Photo Credit: Google - Map Data @2007)

I called couple of my friends in that area to find out the status and was glad to find out they were safe, but surely were scared to death of loosing their houses. One of my friends mentioned that last month his colleague has just moved to their new house in Rancho Bernanrdo. They had their house warming ceremony (VastuShanti) on Saturday evening and now received evacuation orders on Sunday night.. How cruel your fate can be... Hmmm.. God Delusion !!!

Mira mesa being safe, I decided to go out with couple of friends. Sky was full of black smoke-clouds. The smell of smoke was in the air and small flecks of ash were falling around.

We went to the evacuation center in Qualcomm stadium to find out if they need any help esp with "man power". Considering the requirement for relief work, I really didn't realize how I spent 8 hrs there, helping evacuees in sorting and distributing beddings. Considering the 2003 SD fire, people mentioned that relief work was really well organized. Infact at one point, the number of volunteers in the Qualcomm stadium were more than evacuees :) !!

When I was returning home at 9 pm, Moon looked like one in eclipsed state, red-yellowish in color. Generally in crystal clear weather, moon looks bright white as milk, but witch creek fire is surely acting as a "witch", causing moon to be disappeared.

After reaching home, when I turned on the TV, I was lil bit shocked with the news that the fire has spread a lot on west side of SD and mandatory evacuations has been issued at South DelMar and North Sorento Valley area, probably 10-15 blocks from me. Considering the wind conditions, if fire would have spread little bit more, then MiraMesa was the next one going to be under mandatory evacuations. With flaky electricity conditions, I packed all important docs and stuff. While sorting out some low-priority stuff, I realized that how difficult it is to pack my "5 years of stay in USA" just in couple of bags. It surely made me nervous at that point. What must be going through those minds, who were already under mandatory evacuations... and I can not imagine thoughts of those who have already lost their houses and belongings.... When you work as a volunteer, though you are doing your best, your state of mind can never reach at the same level as the evacuee, the pain they must be gong through.. and now I was about to switch the sides and that thought itself scared me a little. I really didn't want to end up in Qualcomm Stadium as an evacuee...

While trying to sleep at 2pm, I heard some people in my apartment complex moving their luggage in their cars, but I guess they were doing precautionary evacuation. No voluntary or mandatory evacuations were announced officially yet.

On Tuesday morning, I guess mother nature must have been heard the prayers, the winds were subsided to ~10mph. Witch Creek fire is not moving towards south, but still moving lil bit on north-west. Most of the fire is under control and not spreading much. By afternoon, most of evacuations on south side of the fire have been lifted areas.... still its only 10% contained !!

Its unbelievable how things can change in such a short time... On Saturday, I was relaxed and working on my guitar lessons, wondering how to play F chord smoothly.... and...... on Monday evening, I was worried that I probably will not be able take my guitar with me if mandatory evacuations happen.... Hshhhhh !!

Probably nothing happened to me specifically. I was never hit by the worst, but overall its a realization that "Life comes to you really fast, when you are busy doing other things" !!

200 calories..

200 calories.. just a fraction of your daily diet.. the number seems really small.. probably a doughnut or handful of peanuts or 2 coke cans.. and thats its.. you will consume 200 calories in seconds.. Take a look !!

...but to burn these calories.. ain't easy as it seems.. it takes around 20 mins of running @ 5 mph for my body type... Its surely a pain.. so now whenever I come across free food in QC meetings, I have to think twice... I have surely lost the appetite for desserts or cookies.. not because I don't want them.. but just to save some efforts on trade-mill..

and guess what... loosing 1 pound of body weight requires to get rid of 3500 calories.. hmmm do the math...

but still... since last couple of weeks.. I am consistent in burning calories.. at-least 300-400 calories everyday :) !!

Come on Cartman... Fight !!

Void...

There is a "void" in my life. It makes me restless. I don't have the answer to fill it up and that drives me crazy. Why am I feeling that "void" these days only? It must have been there with me for a long time.. at least last 4 years.. At that time, though I felt it sometimes, it wasn't that significant.. but these days I can feel its existence...

I think I know "what" is causing that void.. "Why these days" is understandable.. but "How".. is really a tough question.. I hope whatever I am thinking is indeed the right answer... otherwise....

..Time to tackle the "black hole" !!

Viva Las Vegas ..

Had a short trip to vegas.. couple of friends are getting married.. so most probably it was our last bachelor trip together :) !!

Thoughts of going to Vegas always excites me.. Glamor, Richness, Grandiose Casinos, Never ending money-flow, makes me get out of the routine life. Everybody says that fulfill your "dreams" in "sin city".. Want to earn more money, then gamble.. Gambling for "fun" is a good way of looking at it.. but Gambling for "dream"..is just too much !! but "No" gambling in Vegas is surely a stupidity.. then whats the point of being in Vegas?.. Bright fluorescent lights, Adventurous rides, Expensive cars, clothing, World Carnival, delicious food banquets, Watching people getting panic-yelling across roulette table .. surely makes Vegas more enticing..

But every coin has two sides.. moon has a farther-dark side never visible from earth.. or milky-way has a black hole at the center which is eating up the milky way itself... Similarly.. Vegas has its dark side..

On one side, Casinos on the Strip glittering with fancy lights.. but have you seen the open ground between two casinos.. there will not be single flash of light. Hundreds of homeless people will be sleeping there.. On one side, "rich" people spending thousands of money in casinos.. but have you seen those people on the street distributing cards of hookers.. How much do they earn?.. In fact how many girls in a strip club.. dance by their choice.. Do they dance for money or do they for their survival? Or does the money change their "thinking" also?

Can "dreams" go along with "reality"? Can dreams be fulfilled in more "ethical" way... I don't know !!

These two extremes in Vegas disturbs me a lot.. Infact its not just Vegas..

In my last trip to Pune, I have seen similar changes in the society. The culture which I have seen 4 years back is totally different than what I saw in my last trip.. On one side of a street you can see a restaurant serving "sizzlers" @ Rs 350 and on another side you have "Vada-Pav" cart for Rs 6. The multiplex theater "E-Square", having samosaas for 50 bucks a plate, is full of "young" crowd.. while a single theater complex like "Mangala" totally empty and getting bankrupted.. Money is flowing all the over the place.. real-estate prices are at the peak.. IT industry in pune is paying grand salaries to its employees. These "s/w developers" can afford anything.. My "capitalistic" buddy says that these "s/w developers" are driving economy by spending more in the market.. and in turn other streams will benefit soon.. Though whatever is saying is correct and I do see a cell phone with "Vada-Pav" cart guy.. does that really define his improvement in lifetstyle.. Does affording a cell phone show his "progress"? Does the "absolute amount of money" an indicator for "progress of a society"? Our finance Minister shows GDP of 8% from last year.. which is mainly because of IT services.. while remaining sectors like agriculture are still in 2% GDP.. Out of billion people, only 200 millions are earning like a hell.. People who are rich are becoming richer.. and people who are poor are becoming poorer because they can not keep up the pace..

Isn't it increasing the "gap" in the society? ..I am not a "communist" ..I believe in Ayn Rand's "objectivism" .. but still.. I am a "socialist".. Why does the AC cars of Deccan Queen train get burned.. is "religion" the only reason for such a communal violence?.. or is this the "gap" in the society? ..Why does thousands of farmers die in Maharashtra and Andhra? Are their loans piling up because of "lack of rain" or is it because of their fight for survival to keep up the pace.. ?

..I don't have any answers .. but It always makes me think.. and disturbs me..

Donations..

I feel like I am really generous... esp to public libraries.

I borrow lot of books and DVDs from my local SD library. Most of the time, I just forget to return them before due date. So in turn I pay hell lot of fine to these libraries..

When I was in AZ, my local library used to charge just 25 cents per item, so it was okay.. but SD library is really "cruel" on me by charging $2 per item per day. So having 10 items checked-out at a time, late-fee just piles up and I end paying big bucks from my wallet. If I do the simple calculation for last 4 years, then I think I would have saved enough to buy a iPod :) !!

I believe there are members like me who make these public libraries profitable. Paying late fees to public libraries is just a special way of donating to community :) !!

Last month, I donated something to KPBS - local PBS radio channel. Its not like I donated them huge amount, but still they were so nice to me that along with my membership, they sent me lot of goodies, which they shouldn't have..

Any way, time to get some tax deductions on my donations :) !!

Blinking at some Older Questions..

Some old questions always keep on popping in my mind. These questions are "old" in the sense that I have already faced them earlier, thought abt them for a while and tried to answer them.. but still they reappear and I have to answer them again with current timeline. Sometimes people keep on knocking at the door with slightly tweaked "old question" and I have to make sure that my previous answer is still valid and logical.

Confused ? .. The "old" but "important" question I am talking abt is "my returning to India for goods".. The question for me is not "Am I?" ... infact it is "When am I?" .. I have answered this question multiple times: at time when I was joining QC, at time when I was really needed at home and also during my last India trip... Whatever decision I have made first time, still holds the ground.

These days, somebody again knocked at my door with a real "googly".. and it made me think again... But.. more the knocking, more it solidifies my position..

According to author of Blink, all the important decisions are made in two seconds and after that you will just keep on justifying your position..
Though I disagree with author abt "two seconds", I am surely experiencing the justification phase.

Resolutions..

"New Year Resolution". This is surely an interesting business. Everybody comes up with some new resolutions every year. It doesn't matter if you have really achieved your last year's resolutions or not. Nobody verifies. But so what.. its utmost important to come up with some new ones.. :-D

Infact how long these resolutions survive is another aspect. While talking with my colleagues, somebody said "My new year resolution is to have a fish tank". The moment we started talking about "Fish fry" & "Fish curry", the resolution ended up in trash.
As Pu La says, "Ganapati ani Sankalpa sarkhech !! Kunacha Ganapati deed diwasacha asto, Kunacha paach diwasacha, Baghu ya amacha kiti diwas tikatoy te"

Overall the strategy is
- Setup an (un)achievable goal
- Start working towards your goal
- Soon you will realize that "achievable" goal is really under "unachievable" category. Rectify it and work towards it.
- Loopback last step for whole year.
- At the end of the year, you will get "something" done (??).. doesn't matter what was your original goal.

Hmmm sounds similar to software engineering :-) !!

Here is an interesting article by Pu La about new year resolutions..

So what are my '07 resolutions?

- Start a blog ... Tadaa.. Goal achieved !!
- Keep writing a blog.. Uhhh ohh !!
- Instead of "Standing Outside The Fire", try to get into it... Ya.. this is a mysterious resolution.. I will let you know at the end of the year :) .. Its as secretive as 007 !!

- Kau

The First One..

Though this is not my first blog entry, still I am marking it as "The First One"... (Technically, A. B. C. D. was the first entry.. but that falls under beta testing category of the blogger. Fyi, actually test didn't pass .. leckage of 3.. )

hmmm.. so what am I gonna write in the "first blog entry" ? It should be something "great".. something to remember by.. something people will find great.. hmmm

Actually I really don't know why I have decided to start writing a blog. .. Infact I just don't understand why people write their blogs.. Most of the "writers (so called)" want to share their thoughts with "public".. Everybody wants to share their opinion about some "xyz" issue.. who the hell wants to know what are your "abc" thoughts on "xyz" issue.. There are hell lot of intellectual folks (surely..) whose thoughts are interesting to read about than yours... so why yours.. I guess everybody considers themselves as "intellectual", "writer" and want to push their thoughts on others..

But any way.. if you are posting some articles, or some links from an "intellectual", then its good... btw, I am not talking about "so called" intellectual otherwise it might turn into a deadlock according to my "Push-Thoughts-To-Irritate aka PT2I" theory as i explained above.. any way.. or if you are writing about your personal things :) ahaaa then thats interesting to read about !!

I guess you are getting the feeling that I am rude, senseless, sadistic with corrupt brain bla bla... .. "Knock Knock".. "Whos there" "Its Eric... Nah Nahna Na Na" !!

Any way.. where was I .. why am I writing this blog ?..

Probably because I got inspired by somebody who is writing interesting blogs about her personal life which I find interesting... So I am writing one so that she can read mine.. Nahhhhh Or probably, "people" are interested in peeping into my personal life and I am just satisfying their devilish mentality.. hmmm thats possible. Or probably, somebody told me to get into "new year resolution" business and one of the resolution is "write a blog".... that sounds reasonable.. Or probably, I am thinking about "writing" for a long time, but wasn't able to get a good name for my blog.. hmmmm cut the crap.. Or probably, I just want to come out of my "pvt ltd" shell and interact more with public.. ( Oh no.. another "PT2I" author !! ) Or probably, I just want to jot down some mysterious thoughts out of my "black hole" brain and really want to verify they are abnormal.. Naaahhhhhh

But any way... reasoning doesn't matter.. Only thing that matters is "Black Hole" is finally born ... Excellent... after a long time..

Now the main problem is what am I going to write about on this blog...

Probably things which I like about.. like music, astronomy, literature, tech-geeky stuff, hollywood stuff.. Or probably things which people like about.. like my thoughts on cricket or politics or something of that sort.. you got the point.. right ?

Or probably some crap, like this blog entry.. Are you still with me? I am surprised that I have wrote so much crap in so less time and people are still reading this... I told you .. Human mentality of peeping into other people's life.. I guess thats why "blogging" works..

Any way,

Happy Blogging !! Let the new year bring more "interesting" blogs in your life !!

- Eric